


The Only One with Answers I Accept

by punk_rock_yuppie



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Awkwardness, First Kiss, Humor, Lie Detector Tests, M/M, Mutual Pining, Podfic Welcome, TJ is a Meddler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-21 01:10:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16149398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punk_rock_yuppie/pseuds/punk_rock_yuppie
Summary: The Ghoulboys try out a lie detector test, and TJ does some well-intended meddling.





	The Only One with Answers I Accept

**Author's Note:**

> aaand i've had this kicking around in my drafts pretty much since the scavenger hunt began, and decided to power through to get it finished in time for this month! here's my fill for lie detector, ft ryan pining for shane, bc why not.
> 
> big thanks to hannah for beta'ing, as always! 
> 
> enjoy!

Shane’s already smirking, because _of course he is_.

“Do you, Ryan Bergara,” he starts off grandly. “Truly, hand to god, believe in ghosts?”

Ryan rolls his eyes. “Yes.”

A beat, then, “He’s telling the truth,” from the man beside him, Ryan’s pretty sure his name is Michael. He’s the one who’s watching the reactions flit across the screen as the lie detector strapped to Ryan does its job.

Shane lets out a long sigh of disappointment. “Should’ve known.”

“C’mon!” Ryan snaps with a laugh. “Ask me something more interesting than that.”

Shane hums. “What do you think of Ruining History?”

“I like it,” Ryan says easily. “it’s fun to see something that’s _yours_.”

Another pause, and then again, “He’s telling the truth.”

Shane shrugs but he’s got a pleased little grin on his face that makes Ryan’s heart leap. He knows it probably shows up on the readings, but the man beside him doesn’t say anything so Ryan thinks he’s safe.

“Let’s see,” Shane drawls. He strolls around Ghoul HQ in black slacks and a white button-down, tie undone and hanging around his neck. His sleeves are rolled up to the elbows and he looks every bit the sardonic private-eye he’s trying to emulate. Ryan licks his lips as he tries not to track Shane’s pacing. “How’ve you been lately, Ry?”

Ryan furrows his brow at the question. “Uh, good. I’ve been good.”

“He’s lying.”

Shane raises an eyebrow at him.

“I’m good!” Ryan insists. And he is. The show is going great, Ruining History just got renewed, he’s finally not feeling quite so tender regarding his breakup with Helen a couple months prior. He’d even go so far to say he’s the best he’s been in a while. Aside from the whole developed-feelings-for-Shane-thing. That’s recent, and annoying, but not, like, a _bad_ thing. Just a _thing_. “I’m honestly really good.”

The man hums and leans closer to squint at the readings. “He’s lying.”

Shane smirks. He leans on the desk, palms down, and leers at Ryan. “Why ya lying, Ry? Got something to hide?”

Despite the taunting in his voice, there’s an edge of concern to it. Ryan squirms in his seat. “Not hiding anything.”

“He’s lying,” Michael says again.

“Fuck,” Ryan groans. He bends and presses his head against the desk. “It’s nothing, okay? Can we please drop it?”

Shane stares at him a moment longer, until TJ coughs from behind the camera. “Alright, alright, I’m not _cruel_ or anything.”

The questions carry on as normal after that. Shane asks him questions about their shows, about whether he likes Shane’s cooking or not, if he’s excited for TJ’s baby to come. Nothing comes quite close enough to being uncomfortably personal, until they’re nearing the end of Ryan’s segment and Shane gets a look on his face that only means trouble.

“So, when the Try Guys did this,” Shane says, mostly to the camera. “They asked a very vital question, one that I know the fans are just _dying_ for us to answer.”

Ryan’s blood runs cold.

“I would be remiss if I didn’t ask it, especially as it’s the very last question I’ll get to ask Ryan. And I gotta say, I’m pretty curious myself.” He shoots a meaningful look over his shoulder at Ryan, grinning. “So, here goes.”

Ryan swallows.

“Have you, Ryan S. Bergara, ever wanted to fuck someone on the Unsolved crew?”

Ryan lets out a slight sigh of relief; it’s not as on the nose as he’d anticipated. He clenches his free hand into a fist and inhales deeply. “Yeah.”

A pause. “He’s telling the truth.”

Shane flashes a dazzling smirk at the camera. “What do we think, should I try to narrow it down?” It’s not a live show, so Shane’s really hamming it up for no reason. Ryan snorts at it, amused and fondly endeared. “I think this is a mystery that should remain…. Unsolved.”

Ryan snorts and shakes his head. “Shut up, Shane.”

Shane eyes him for a second, and Ryan worries that Shane actually will—that he’ll pull a Try Guys and narrow it down person by person until the only answer left is the truth. Shane shrugs. “I think I’m done. Teej, you wanna get in on this?” A pause as TJ shakes his head behind the camera. “Alright! Switcheroo time.”

The cameras cut rolling and Ryan starts to stand. Michael helps him out of the leads and wires. Shane’s hand brushes over Ryan’s back as they shuffle to switch spots, Shane falling into the seat and Ryan standing off to the side.

Ryan can’t help but watch as Shane tugs off his tie and unbuttons his white shirt; underneath the button-down is a tank, and Shane gestures at TJ, who tosses him a tee. Ryan finally turns away and busies himself with pulling off his own t-shirt to replace it with a white shirt and tie. It’s not very original, he thinks; the fans will eat it up, regardless. Ryan’s look is a little lacking, what with the jeans he’s wearing, but it’s good enough.

A few minutes later, the cameras are rolling.

Ryan runs through a lot of the same questions, some he knows the answers to and others he doesn’t. He doesn’t smirk quite as wide as Shane had when he asks, “do you believe in ghosts?”

Shane rolls his eyes with a smile. “No.”

When Michael says he’s telling the truth, Shane beams at the camera.

Ryan’s jittery with nerves as he continues. He doesn’t stammer over his questions, but his voice shakes just enough for Shane to be shooting him sidelong looks. He asks if Shane wants more pets, what Shane thinks of Micki and Dori; he asks if Shane has ever thought about leaving Unsolved, and the room grows tense until Shane utters a soft, _“no”_ that Ryan knows is truthful without the lie detector machine.

It’s still nice to hear, though.

“About time to wrap it up,” Shane taunts. “You gonna do it?”

Ryan swallows. “Sure.” He can’t quite bring himself to summon the same theatricality that Shane had before, but he does his best. “Have you, Shane A. Madej, ever wanted to sleep with a member of the Unsolved crew?”

Silence stretches. Shane’s mouth is curling at the corners in a catlike grin. Fire starts in Ryan’s gut and his palms are clammy around the edge of the table as he leans against it. Shane looks at him, to TJ, to Mark, and back again. Looping around, even lingering on Michael for a brief chuckle.

“Yes,” Shane says, puffing out his chest. “No shame in admitting that. I work with some hotties.”

Behind the camera, TJ snorts, and Ryan can feel himself blushing.

“So you’ve wanted to sleep with _all_ of us?” TJ hollers.

Shane shrugs. “A little bit.”

“He’s telling the truth.”

TJ doesn’t sidle into frame but he keeps talking, and Ryan watches him, filled with something like curiosity and something like terror. “Is there someone you’ve wanted to sleep with more than the rest?”

“You know there is,” and _oh_ , Shane’s voice is edging into harder, less friendly territory very suddenly. There’s no confirmation, so Shane sighs and answers properly. “Yes.” Ryan barely hears Michael.

TJ’s smirking. “Should I ask?”

“I might kill you if you do.”

“He’s telling the truth.”

A laugh bursts from Ryan, unbidden and hysterical. “You wanna trade spots, Teej? I can take over the camera.” He reaches out for it but TJ doesn’t move.

“How about Ryan asks you?”

“Ryan’s fine with not asking,” Ryan says. “How about we wrap this up?”

“Shane,” TJ says.

“TJ,” Shane counters.

“What’re you so scared of?”

Ryan feels woefully out of his depth, watching the back-and-forth escalate between Shane and TJ. He feels a lot like he’s watching a tennis match—both men volleying back and forth in the most cryptic manner possible. Even so, things click into place pretty quickly, or at least Ryan _thinks_ they do. He really hopes he’s not _wrong_.

Ryan, finally, interjects.

“Shane.”

Shane’s gaze snaps to him in an instant.

“Last question,” Ryan says, even as he’s aware of TJ looking sour from the corner of his eye. “Do you really like the Hot Daga, or do you just make it to annoy the ever-loving fuck out of me?”

Shane quirks a small grin, not as broad or cocky as ones previous but genuine. “Both.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“But it’s the truth,” Shane says, and Ryan listens as TJ cuts.

“We’ll film an outro later, or something,” Ryan says a little quieter. TJ moves and starts to mess with the lighting and cameras, Mark and Devon helping him. Ryan leans on the table and looks down at Shane, who won’t meet his eyes. “Shane.”

“That was fun.” Shane’s voice is bright.

“Yeah.”

Shane looks cautiously at him. “Listen, about TJ…”

“It’s okay,” Ryan says, swallows, leans across the table to kiss Shane. He kisses even as Shane doesn’t kiss back, even as Shane makes a surprised noise in the back of his throat, even as Michael coughs awkwardly. Ryan waits until Shane kisses back, until Shane brings a hand to cup his cheek and deepen it.

“Ryan,” Shane breathes as they pull away.

“I wanna sleep with you,” Ryan says in a rush. “And, y’know, other shit.”

“Other shit,” Shane echoes.

“Date-y shit.”

“Right.” Shane grins and uses his hand against Ryan’s cheek to pull him closer. “I want that, too.”

Ryan kisses him again, half-laughing against his lips. When the kiss breaks, there’s a slight pause, then—

“He’s telling the truth.”


End file.
